“The earth is degenerating today. Bribery and corruption abound. Children no longer obey their parents, every man wants to write a book, and it is evident that the end of the world is fast approaching.”
That’s not a Twitter rant from 2026. That’s an Assyrian tablet from 2800 BC.
Four thousand eight hundred years ago, someone sat down with a wedge-shaped stylus and a lump of wet clay and carved out the exact same complaints you see on social media every single day.
And here we are, nearly five millennia later, still here, still complaining, still convinced this time it’s really the end.
The Oldest Complaint in Human History
The Doomer Wojak has become the face of modern existential dread. He stares at the void and mutters: “It’s so over.”
But look at this image. The Wojak’s face has been photoshopped onto an ancient Assyrian warrior—striped tunic, raised sword, rainbow shield—standing in a palace from the cradle of civilization. And right next to him is an actual clay tablet, saying the exact same thing.
We’ve been saying “it’s so over” for five thousand years, and it’s never once been over.
Every generation believes theirs is the last. The Babylonians thought so. The Greeks thought so. The Romans definitely thought so. The medieval Europeans were certain the world would end in the year 1000. And every single time, civilization kept going.
The Original Apocalypse
The ancient Mesopotamians had a deeply pessimistic worldview. The gods created humans specifically to be their servants. When humans got too noisy, the gods simply sent floods to reset the population.
Sound familiar? We’ve rebranded it as climate change, nuclear war, AI takeover, and pandemics, but the underlying anxiety is exactly the same.
But the tablet survived. Someone in 2800 BC whined about the end of the world, and we’re still reading their complaint 4,800 years later. That’s not decline—that’s continuity.
So go ahead. Say it with the Wojak.
Tablet source: Assyrian proverb, c. 2800 BC.
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