Archaeologists Were at a Loss When They Found This Excel Sheet

Gorgocutie says: Archaeologists were at a loss when they found this.

And by “archaeologists” I mean ME, scrolling X at 2 AM, staring at a spreadsheet that looks like it was carved into a clay tablet with a stylus.

ENENTARZI — some Sumerian accountant whose soul has been passed down through 5000 years of file formats (clay → papyrus → parchment → microfiche → floppy disk → USB stick → Google Drive) and is now trapped in my Excel program — just suggested I use a PIVOT TABLE.

“O great scribe, blessing of Nadu,” he says. “Perhaps a pivot table?”

And honestly? He’s not wrong.

The afterlife is a pivot table. Truly wondrous and blessed.

Moral of the meme: We’re all just Sumerian accountants squinting at columns of numbers we don’t understand, and the ghost of ENENTARZI is the MVP of customer support.