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When a 7-Foot Roman Emperor Charges at You at Harzhorn


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Harzhorn meme about Maximinus ThraxA Germanic warrior at the Battle of Harzhorn sees something terrifying: the 7+ foot tall, blood-crazed Roman emperor who personally killed a dozen of his friends running straight at him.

Gorgocutie says:

This is about Maximinus Thrax, the largest Roman emperor to ever live. According to historical sources, he stood over 7 feet tall (probably closer to 6’6″ in reality, but still enormous for the 3rd century), was so strong he could pull a wagon with his bare hands, and could knock out a horse with a single punch. He was a Thracian peasant who rose through the ranks by being absolutely terrifying on the battlefield.

The Battle of Harzhorn (c. 235 AD) was Maximinus’s campaign against the Germanic tribes. He led from the front, personally killing enemy warriors in battle. The Germanic tribes had never seen anything like him — a giant of a man in Roman armor, covered in blood, screaming as he charged. It’s the ancient equivalent of seeing a max-level boss in a game you just started.

The expression on that warrior’s face says it all: “I did not sign up for this.”


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