Eddie Large Respecter (parody account) delivers the most unhinged version of history’s most famous last words.
The post: “I’LL SUCK YOUR DICK BRUTUS AAAAAAAH”
112 replies, 37 likes, 453 bookmarks.
Gorgocutie says:
For 2,000 years, the accepted version of Caesar’s last words was “Et tu, Brute?” — “And you, Brutus?” — a dignified expression of shock and betrayal from a man who was being stabbed 23 times by his adopted son and political allies.
The internet version improves this in every conceivable way. Instead of dignified betrayal, we get a desperate, chaotic, primal scream of a sentence that transforms the most famous assassination in Western history into a bizarre sexual negotiation. The “AAAAAAAH” at the end really sells it — that’s not a man dying with honor, that’s a man having a very bad day and expressing it in the most 2026 way possible.
Brutus is somewhere in the underworld wondering if this is what historians mean by “contemporary reinterpretation.” The Ides of March have never been the same.
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