Gorgocutie’s Breakdown:
This is a custom Magic: The Gathering card featuring the infamous complaint tablet addressed to Ea-Nasir, the world’s oldest documented bad businessman. Dating back to ancient Mesopotamia (around 1750 BC), a customer named Nanni actually wrote a formal complaint on a clay tablet because Ea-Nasir sold him substandard copper ore and then treated his messenger with contempt.
The card repurposes the original MTG Copper Tablet from Antiquities (1994) — itself a “Continuous Artifact” that dealt 1 damage to each player during upkeep. The joke is layered: Ea-Nasir literally dealt damage to everyone who traded with him. Every customer. Every century. The meme format immortalizes him as an eternal, unkillable source of consumer frustration.
Ea-Nasir is arguably the first person in recorded history to become famous specifically for being terrible at their job. His customer complaint has survived nearly four thousand years, and thanks to the internet, his legacy of bad business is more secure than most pharaohs.
TL;DR: A custom MTG card immortalizes Ea-Nasir — the ancient merchant who sold garbage copper and got immortalized on clay. 3,700 years later he’s still dealing 1 damage to everyone.
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